Stop, Ground, Breathe...

Today I woke up in a BAD mood.⠀ It started when I realised that I still hadn't got rid of my sore throat and flu-like symptoms which meant I'd have to forgo yet another day of my usual exercises (stationary mama = bad mood mama). As the morning progressed and I snapped more frequently and with increasing irritation at family members, I could feel that my hormones were on the rampage (day 21 = bullshit radar is on full volume / minimum tolerance settings). I then discovered that the vastly expensive Xmas tree that arrived yesterday is covered in mud, totally lopsided and won’t stand up straight. And to top it all off, I spent most of the morning trying - and failing - to get my head around social media marketing. All of which left me in a bit of a tizz...

Luckily however, (for those around me), I’m now quite good at observing my emotions. So I knew that I did actually have a CHOICE about whether to continue down the road to overwhelm or whether to take quick remedial action.

And since it was too early for wine and I was too ill to go to yoga, I tried to channel my inner mindfulness guru instead:

i) I sat down on the floor (the nearer you can get to the earth the quicker you can 'ground')⠀ ii) I felt the support and solidity of the floor, and how it had 'got me'⠀ iii) I breathed: long, deep, slow, belly breaths⠀ iv) I said out loud, 3 times, along with my out breaths: “I feel supported” (3 is a sacred number and it’s always worth faking it until you make it)⠀ v) I looked outside at the trees: always there, strong but flexible, neither overwhelmed nor anxious, just alive ⠀ vi) I smiled (see above re faking it to make it)⠀ ⠀

And I felt better!

Because I had become present: aware of my body and its surroundings rather than letting my inner bully/depressive/neurotic run the show. ⠀ ⠀

I’ve also been staring at this photo, taken of our local beach this time last year when we lived in Koh Samui for a month. It reminds me that we CAN create our own reality and that anything is possible if you are bold enough: we dared to take our kids out of school, to take our jobs on the road, to pack up our house and exit the matrix, all in order to find our true selves on a year-long travel adventure. And we're back. And it worked.

So if any of you are also feeling a bit pants, try doing something that brings you into the now: stop, sit, ground, breathe, affirm and connect to Nature.

And remember, I’m there alongside you...⠀

Are you fulfilling your greatest potential, mama? Are you getting paid to do what you love whilst parenting in a calm and positive way? Are you feeling happy and fulfilled both at work and at home? Because you deserve to! Book a complimentary discovery session with me on skype and we can explore taking concrete steps towards creating a life in which you feel motivated and in control once more!  

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What is keeping you stuck in your box?

Isn't it just SO damn easy to get caught up in the day to day routine of life: work, juggling chores and kids - and then use that as an excuse that you are too exhausted to do anything new?  At least, that's what I do...

For me, the thought of going out is usually never a good one - my inner protector tells me I should stick to the familiar go-tos: staying in to rest, catching up with my partner over a glass of wine or practising my yoga.

But when I allow my inner adventurer out - the one that couldn't care less about waking up tired, the one who is curious and excited to try out new things - I end up having a ball! And feeling tired, yes, but rejuvenated!

Which is what happened on Wednesday at The Honeysuckle Review, run by my beautiful and talented burlesque dancer cum mermaid cum priestess friend, Demi. (Yeah, she's pretty cool).

It made me realise that I had arrogantly forgotten that a world outside of my own even existed. Because that's what happens when you never challenge yourself to peek outside of the box you have constructed around yourself.

Boxes are good. They keep us safe and content. But sometimes we need to make the box a little bigger, to make room for something new. Because it is the new - something different, something scary, something adventurous - that brings freedom. A sense of being truly ALIVE! 

And we ALL deserve a bit of that...

• Which excuses are keeping you in a comfortable (but narrow) box?

• What could you say YES to that you would previously not have considered?

• How can you include a bit of adventure into your weekend?

Share with me in the comments below! I'd love to hear!

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How the Goddess Lilith got me out of my funk...

Meet Lilith. A Middle-Eastern goddess of abundance and fertility (she gifted humans with agriculture) as well as death and transformation. Pretty powerful, eh? I picked this beauty from my Goddesses Knowledge Cards pack last week and she's been perched on my laptop ever since.

Not just because of the abundance - after all, we could all do with a bit of abundance - but also because of her story.

I was feeling a bit fragile as well as angry last week (solar eclipse + heavy work load + 14 weeks of 3 small kids at home with me + pre-menstrual + trying to work out what my soul "message" was = overwhelm), so the fact that she was the first woman created and the first wife of Adam "who refused to be subordinate to him in any way" inspired me. In a just-get-out-of-your-own-head-and-start-seeing-the-bigger-picture kind of way.

Because that is my kind of feminism: refusing to be subordinate to ANYONE. Not out of defensiveness or from a place of aggression. But out of a place of self-worth. The energy is very different. Lilith honours who she is by respecting her own needs, dreams and desires. She sees these as equal to anyone else's.

For when you are truly empowered, there is no need to put anyone else down in order to feel good about yourself. There isn't a finite amount of "feel-good pie" which requires one to have less than the other.

We are all entitled to abundance, self-worth, success, fulfillment and happiness. Every single one of us. And wishing for it for yourself DOES NOT mean that someone else has to make do with less. There is more than enough to go round.

True empowerment comes from within. A knowing that you are unique and beautiful and a gift to the world, whatever your flaws, whatever your imperfections and deepest secrets.

And Lilith models this beautifully because she is also associated with the lotus - that gorgeous flower that blossoms out of dark, decaying earth.

The symbolism here is that Lilith therefore encourages, and challenges us, to integrate our own darkest shadows however they manifest in us. She inspires us to look at the aspects of us that we prefer to keep private because they are shameful or "not nice" - our meanness, our superiority, our unkindness, our manipulation, our viciousness for example - and accept that they are indeed part of us.

Because when we can do this, they then have less of a hold over us.  We can can control them or choose whether or not to act out upon the impulse behind them. We become aware: conscious not just instinctual.

And that leads to FREEDOM...

THIS is what I needed to be reminded of last week. When I was feeling overwhelmed, emotional and frustrated. Lilith inspired me to own all of my feelings, even the "negative" ones, to love and accept that part of myself, and then from a place of wholeness and self-worth - subordinate to no-one - to pick myself up and get on with being me. Unique and flawed and precious. Just as I am. Just as you are.

Lilith helped me see the bigger picture. I'd love to know if and how Lilith resonates with you? Let me know in the comments below! 

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Women's Empowerment starts young!

There is no doubting whose daughter this is... Not only did she ask to get her hair cut short aged 5 (I did the same aged 7), but for her birthday manicure/pedicure treat she went for blue toes and neon hands (non-matching obvs)...

I can't think where she gets her independent streak from...And I couldn't feel prouder.

Because despite the fact that it has often been a MAJOR source of irritation to me - let's face it, independent thought and obedience don't fit that well together - I couldn't wish more for a young girl growing up in this day and age.

For the world out there is tough. Social media is pervasive. Opinions on what a woman should do, look like, feel, eat, wear and how they should behave have never been stronger.

So women's empowerment needs to start young. And it is our duty as parents to model this at home. Which doesn't mean allowing our daughters to disregard all of the house "rules" and run amok (no, no, no - I'm a Gina-Ford-parenting-control-freak, remember?) but it does mean allowing them to express themselves in whichever way feels real to them. Because THIS is (time for my buzz word here) AUTHENTICITY.

Because children do have their own, unique voices and opinions, even at a young age. And if we stifle those by overruling them with OUR needs and desires, all the time, just because we have been put "in charge" as parents, then they quickly learn that theirs are not valued and therefore that there is no point in articulating them.

And in a society that doesn't value women as highly as it does men as a whole, this damage lasts well into adulthood. Until we take the momentous leap of faith required to trust in ourselves again. To listen to our intuition. To our excitement (that's a yes!) and to our hesitation (that's probably a no!). Sound familiar?

If we weren't allowed to speak our minds when we were little, we quickly fall out of practise. Because it is a muscle that needs constant stimulation.

So whilst it may seem like a small thing to have acted upon her desire to cut her hair short, and an even smaller thing to let her choose her own nail varnish colour, it isn't. It is huge. And there are so many parents our there vetoing similar choices. Which is such a shame. Because I saw with my own eyes how her behaviour changed from one day to the next: I have a voice! It counts! I can use it to express myself!

Women's empowerment starts at home. It starts with our girls. Whatever their age. I DARE YOU...

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What's your relationship elixir?

RELATIONSHIPS... With Friends. Partners. Kids. Parents. Siblings. Colleagues. Teachers.

Some last for just a set period of time as you grow together and learn what you need to learn about yourself at that moment; some last for a lifetime.

What they have in common though is their importance. Indeed, more than important, they are VITAL.

Because we are social creatures. We crave connection. Meaningful connection with others. A sense of belonging. Of being accepted. For who we are, not who we feel or have been told we 'should' be.

For who else picks us up when we are down? Who else validates us when we really need it? Because let's face it, even though we're "meant" to be able to validate ourselves and we're meant not to need to rely on others for proof of our worth, sometimes it really, really helps to know that others think you are really, really great, just as you are.

For me, the key to experiencing a meaningful connection with someone else - whoever that is - is honesty. Honesty in how you express yourself and honesty about what you are REALLY feeling at any one time. Radical honesty. Which is NOT easy. But gifting yourself that lays a beautiful foundation for deep connection and one in which you feel really valued for who you are not just for the mask you are showing others.

These are just some of the things I like to explore in my coaching sessions. Please let me know if you want to learn more : )

What are your successful relationship secrets? How do you maintain meaningful connections with others? I'd love to hear! Please share in the comments below! And don't forget you can also follow me on facebook, youtube, twitter, instagram & pinterest!